vardaesque:

today at work a little girl and her dad came through my line and she picked up two things of altoids and she was like “daddy let’s get the same flavor! so when you’re in afghanistan i can eat mine and you can eat yours and we can be together!” and me and my cashier just stood there like DON’T CRY DON’T FUCKING CRY DON’T BE A BABY AND FUCKING CRY

and then they left and we fucking wailed like children

(via scalene-eyebrows)


Wizarding Logic

Sirius: Hey Hagrid can I have my godson whom I was entrusted to look after by my best mate, his father?
Hagrid: No, Dumbledore says you can't.
Sirius: But, legally, I-
Hagrid: No.
Aurors: Sirius Black you are under arrest for the murder of twelve people and for being implicated in the murder of the Potters and for working for Lord Voldemort.
Sirius: But, if you looked at my wand you'd see I didn't cast any-
Aurors: No.
Sirius: Why would I even betray James? He was like a brother to me. He showed me what was wrong with my upbringing, he took me in when I was disinherited, and he was the best mate I ever had. I am so upset about his death I am barely coherent.
Aurors: Dumbledore says you did it.
Sirius: But I was working FOR Dumbledore. Literally ask any Order member or Death Eater and they will tell you that Voldemort hated me.
Aurors: You're going to wizard prison, motherfucker.

breakfast-with-satan:

Chandler’s sarcasm is my favorite thing ever

(via psychopathictales)


piningcas:

flowercrownimpala:

i wonder if actors ever get their scripts and are like

well this is fucking stupid

image

(via psychopathictales)


colonelhathi:

  • japan ≠ korea ≠ china
  • pakistan is not in the middle east
  • most muslims aren’t arabs
  • geishas are not prostitutes
  • mexico is a very small part of latin america
  • there are 54 countries in africa
  • china has 56 different ethnic groups and none of them eat chop suey

(via psychopathictales)



sherlockedcastielinthetardis:

#beginning of every supernatural episode

(via psychopathictales)



heliolisk:

trying to take a picture with your friends with a phone that doesnt have a front camera
image

(via scalene-eyebrows)


zenis:

wet dream: being financially secure with a career i enjoy

(via ceshira)


mangocianamarch:


happy Ides of March all y’all plebeians

REMIND ME TO REBLOG THIS EVERY MARCH 15TH UNTIL I DIE

mangocianamarch:

happy Ides of March all y’all plebeians

REMIND ME TO REBLOG THIS EVERY MARCH 15TH UNTIL I DIE

(via jakeballards)


fashion-runways:

MICHAEL CINCO Couture Fall 2013

(via scalene-eyebrows)